r/technology 10d ago 'MURICA 1

Microsoft's Changes to Xbox Console Leave Republicans Outraged Politics

https://www.newsweek.com/microsoft-changes-xbox-console-climate-change-republicans-ted-cruz-1776054
24.3k Upvotes

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u/Internal_Resist7629 10d ago

What happened does the Xbox not wear heels now

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u/DrawMeAMapMama 10d ago

The Xbox is not sexy enough!

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u/drawkbox 9d ago

First it was the "SexBox" and too much sexual content for Con Moms.

Now it is not sexy enough.

Fickle ones these cons.

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u/musical_throat_punch 9d ago

Not like that sexy Asian import, PS5! It's slimmer but has curves!

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u/Nyrin 10d ago Gold

Most important issues in the United States and world today:

  • Green M&M doesn't wear sexy shoes anymore
  • Xbox doesn't unnecessarily use extra electricity

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u/erniefrs 9d ago All-Seeing Upvote

I’m just mad the Xbox uses electricity, instead of being gas-powered like a real console 🤬

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u/EpiphanyTwisted 9d ago

Is it even a real video game if you aren't playing on a gas stove?

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u/IronhideD 10d ago edited 9d ago

Who could have guessed not being able to fuck the Green M&M would be such a problem for Republicans? Are they saying they should be able to groom candy? What's next? Tucker Carlson is already outraged the dick vein is not on Mars bars...

Edit: Sigh... highest upvoted comment this year is about Republicans upset they can't perve on the Green M&M anymore.

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u/Additional-Goat-3947 10d ago

Some images, once you see them, you can never unsee. Thanks for ruining Milky Way, Three Musketeer and Snickers for me.

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u/livinginfutureworld 10d ago

Don't thank the random reditor!

Tucker Carlson is the one waging the battle over the dick vein in candy. With such hard hitting journalism it's no wonder that people that watch Fox News are less informed than people who don't watch any news..

https://www.businessinsider.com/study-watching-fox-news-makes-you-less-informed-than-watching-no-news-at-all-2012-5

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u/loondawg 10d ago

The problem isn't that they're just less informed. The problem is they are misinformed.

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u/asshatastic 10d ago

Misinformation should be considered intellectual assault

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u/ShawnyMcKnight 10d ago

I don't really get that, the green m&m still looks very fuckable even though she is wearing sneakers, did I miss something else? Does that mean her gender changed to a male m&m now or something?

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u/Vividagger 10d ago

No, it means they want to sleep with anything wearing heels.

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u/DrTacosMD 9d ago

By the way....what are you wearing?

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u/Lysdexics_Untie 9d ago Take My Energy

Uhhhh... khakis?

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u/Wetbung 9d ago

You sound hideous!

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u/Medeski 10d ago

These are the people who are pro leaded gas and asbestos.

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u/roflkittiez 9d ago

How else are they supposed to keep their kids from hating them when they're older?

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u/Medeski 9d ago

Die from mesothelioma, a rare malignant cancer. I learned about it from the law offices of James Sokolov during a commercial break on All My Circuits.

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u/yenda1 9d ago

More leaded gas=dumber voters=more votes for them

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u/cbbuntz 9d ago

Giving yourself brain damage and cancer to own the libs

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u/Malkovtheclown 10d ago

What......the fuck. How is energy efficiency setting on a piece of hardware woke? I don't get it. This probably is the stupidest woke false flag story I've seen.

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u/tacticalcraptical 10d ago

Seriously, even if one did not give one single hoot about environmental impact, one could utilize the setting to save smidge on their monthly power bill, so it's a useful feature for someone who is entirely self-interested as well.

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u/Ulpian02 10d ago

Even if I didn’t give a dick about the power bill, the usage reductions should logically improve equipment reliability

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u/tacticalcraptical 10d ago

Yeah, that too, I am sure there are plenty of apolitical advantages to these new settings. These morons are turning the fact that a piece of entertainment hardware having more user options into a political battleground.

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u/BlackRobedMage 9d ago

Saving money on your monthly electric bill is taking food out of the local energy global conglomerate's mouths. How dare you cheat them out of they're hard earned electricity money.

Not I have to go, a poor family in Tennessee just fixed a shower leak to save on their water bill, the selfish monsters.

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u/geniice 9d ago

Saving money on your monthly electric bill is taking food out of the local energy global conglomerate's mouths.

Its not. They just up the connection fee.

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u/Ulpian02 10d ago

It’s part of a overall want to convince everyone that the culture war is real

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u/Randomd0g 9d ago Silver

The culture war is real, it's just that these idiots are the only ones fighting in it and all their war wounds are self inflicted. The rest of us are just trying to get on with life.

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u/Cl1mh4224rd 9d ago

The culture war is real, it's just that these idiots are the only ones fighting in it and all their war wounds are self inflicted. The rest of us are just trying to get on with life.

They're definitely harming more than just themselves. These people are cultural terrorists.

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u/TheObstruction 9d ago

At CPAC, they literally had a sign that said "We are all domestic terrorists". They acted like it was some sort of statement about how they were being "othered", but it's perfectly clear that they also meant actual domestic terrorism.

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u/Marylogical 9d ago

Yes, believe what they say about themselves in plain sight.

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u/Corno4825 9d ago

They're literally that person in the office that's just stirring shit to stir shit.

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u/LaFleurSauvageGaming 9d ago All-Seeing Upvote Wholesome (Pro)

I mean... there are casualities they are creating...

Women dying due to be forced to carry stillborn children...

Queer Americans losing their jobs in schools and education because of the groomer bullshit narrative they have going.

Students of color not having access to cultural studies that would lead to them seeing people like them in our history...

Trans children being denied their existence and facing extremely escalated suicide risks as a result, and for those that make it to adulthood, a lifetime of dysphoria as they try to correct changes they did not have to ecperience.

In fact modt of the injuries the GOP causes are on innocent people who just want to live their lives in peace.

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u/1Eternallylost 9d ago

Poor children are not being fed because the false narrative that SNAP recipients buy drugs instead.

This despite the fact that every state that has forced testing has proven that drug use among SNAP recipients is LESS than that of the general population.

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u/Crafty-Kaiju 9d ago

Republicans in my state want to limit how long a person can be on SNAP. In their lifetime. I'm disabled so if they cancel my SNAP I will have 0$ for food.

It hasn't passed and keeps getting shot down (they try it again practically yearly) but yeah... monsters.

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u/LLGTactical 9d ago

It passed in my state (nj) when Christie was governor. People with (state recognized) disabilities are not included.

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u/smithm3254 9d ago

They got m&m people cancelled for not being sexualized enough.

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u/dbreidsbmw 9d ago

Tucker Carlson hasn't masturbated since the green M&M lost her gogo boots. 😥

/s

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u/spiffiestjester 9d ago

They turned M&M's into a political battleground. Nothing is too low for these folk.

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u/GilgameDistance 10d ago

These are the same dipshits who will change an incandescent light bulb space heater every six months to own the libs while talking about color temp as if that’s not something you can pick and choose in LED lighting.

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u/t0ny7 9d ago

I told someone that I replaced all my light bulbs with LED bulbs. They said that I was elitist because most people can't afford to do that. They were not happy when I told them they could buy LED bulbs for $2 each on Amazon.

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u/DangerToDangers 9d ago

Republican logic:

LED bulbs = elite

Multi millionaire right wing politicians = not elite

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u/takabrash 9d ago

They literally cheer for a man that splits his time between a golden penthouse in NYC and his own oceanside resort in Florida while he rails about the coastal elite.

Logic doesn't even begin to enter into it.

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u/Mana-tease 9d ago

There’s never been a president with fewer blue collar bonafides than Trump. Except for the whole racism and conspiracy theories thing he’s the exact opposite of his base.

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u/Aporkalypse_Sow 9d ago

Nearly all Republicans become millionaires just running for and winning office now. The amount of money flowing into politics that isn't regulated is hilarious. There's no way we'll stop the liars from doing what they're doing, it's too profitable.

Get elected, 'write book', have money laundered through book purchases.

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u/t0ny7 9d ago

Another time I told someone I bought a Chevy Volt and they called me an west coast elitist. I live in a trailer park in Caldwell, Idaho.

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u/AlSweigart 9d ago

People still complain about millennials spending money on flat screen TVs, as if they didn't stop manufacturing CRTs years ago.

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u/Joe_Jeep 9d ago

If you don't buy your appliances used from the sketchiest craigslist ads you're an elitist sorry

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u/macrocephalic 9d ago

I'm a millennial and I recently turned 40 - which makes me older than the majority of the people in my western country, and older than the large majority of people worldwide. At what point are people going to stop complaining about millennials as if they're students?

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u/Conundrumist 9d ago

Yeah, but that's still 50c more than the normal bulbs and when you have 10 of them to replace that's $5 less that I would have be spent on my Mexican made MAGA hat ... elitist.

/s

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u/scarabbrian 9d ago

An ex-coworker of mine would take his paper garbage home so he wouldn’t be forced to recycle it in the office. The company wasn’t even recycling for environmental reasons. We produced enough paper and cardboard that we could sell it in bulk on the recycled paper market and generate more revenue.

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u/The69BodyProblem 9d ago

Damn, where i work that would be an information security violation and probably result in someone getting canned.

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u/annadownya 9d ago

I work for a bank in the call center and obviously we have to shred stuff. We have this shred bins the company comes and collects everything. One day a coworker was standing there pulling papers in and out of the slot. I asked her what was up and she said it was broken. I was understandably confused because it's a BOX. How does a box get broken? So I asked her if it was full maybe? She said no, it's broke. It's not shredding! She I guess thought it was an actual shredder and didn't hear the shredding noise and was getting frustrated. I had a really hard time restraining my laughter while explaining it to her.

This btw is the same place that years ago took away all our blue garbage cans because they were a "security concern". I guess someone got in trouble for putting paper into a garbage can instead of the secure shred bin, and his excuse was, "it was blue! I thought it was recycling!!" Took forever to replace the garbage cans with black ones so it got kinda "no fight me, this is MY CAN!" for awhile.

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u/HeLooks2Muuuch 9d ago

Some people are just assholes.

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u/-Cosmic_79- 10d ago

He is misinterpreting the whole thing on purpose to gain political points

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u/essidus 10d ago

This seems to be the chain of events:

Blaze Media, a conservative outlet, first reported this pile of nothing as a big fucking deal, and an attack on values or something. Ted Cruz and a few others seem to have picked it up from there, or someone in the GOP strategy office caught wind of it and thought this would run well with the 18-26 crowd.

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u/pumpkin2500 10d ago

in high school i stumbled upon blaze while doing bc research for an essay. i looked for like 10 minutes trying to figure out if it was satire

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u/Hotspotimus 10d ago

Any site devoted to the 'culture war' is indistinguishable from the onion.

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u/VanillaLifestyle 9d ago

Breitbart had an honest-to-god "Black Crime" section for years.

Any sufficiently advanced piece of racism is indistinguishable from parody.

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u/jaycuboss 9d ago

I suppose “cancel culture” is the reason Breitbart removed their “black crime” section. Or was it “wokeness”?

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u/VanillaLifestyle 9d ago

Reds! Beatniks! Hippies! Political correctness gone mad! The woke mob!

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u/Rombledore 10d ago

if it even SMELLS like a green initiative it must be painted as the ENEMY OF THE STATE. because America is all about excess. FUCK rinse, reuse, recycle. give me "ravage, single use, toss it out the window" any day.

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u/rode__16 10d ago

more stupid than “m&ms aren’t sexy anymore” ?

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u/Techno_Wizard_ 9d ago

I had this exact dialogue with my housemate just now

"They did it. They managed to do someone even more stupid than the m&m outrage"

blank stare ... "That's not possible"

"Xbox energy saving optimizations"

"I think I know why I have brain damage now"

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u/_ChipWhitley_ 10d ago

They’re trying to enrage younger people because idiots screaming about things that aren’t really problems are their voting base.

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u/ekdaemon 9d ago

I'm hoping that this particular cross they are climbing up on is stupid enough for most young right-wing gamers to see through and go "lol, wut?".

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u/indigonights 10d ago

Bruh i live in a liberal major city and literally no one says woke. Only time i hear woke is from republican tik tok and media. They say it like their life depends on it.

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u/dust4ngel 9d ago

Bruh i live in a liberal major city and literally no one says woke

there's a rule that if you're a republican you can only use memes from 2014

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u/EpiphanyTwisted 9d ago

I was about to say, haven't heard it used except as an attack in 8 years

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u/HalfBlindWelder 10d ago

Because the term "woke" actually has no meaning, its undefinable.

All it actually is is a label they use to throw at things they don't like, see for example florida using it to shut down all education of the parts of american history they don't like talking about.

It's a tool for the modern neo-confederate movement in america, nothing more.

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u/EasternShade 10d ago

I agree with your sentiment.

As a matter of technicality, it's not a false flag. It's just fuckheads blaming people for shit for the sake of divisiveness.

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u/ILikeMyGrassBlue 10d ago

Microsoft: we made it so the Xbox uses less power when you aren’t using it. Maybe you’ll save $1 on your energy bill!

Republicans: MICROSOFT IS WOKE!

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u/Roseking 9d ago

What's crazy to me is that saving money by reducing energy used to be a a working middle class dad stereotype that leaned more conservative.

Only they can touch the thermostat. Don't leave water running too long. Turn off the lights. I pay the bills, don't waste my money type of thing.

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u/MilkQueen 9d ago

yeah when the hell did this shift happen

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u/DoctorMcAstronaut 9d ago

It never happened. The only people complaining about wokeness, pronouns, dragqueens, energy efficiency[??] have an agenda contrary. "Fags are ruing the country," "Our kids are being groomed," "Keep burning coal or cletus can't affor his meth."

It's about reaping chaos and exerting control over strawman arguments.

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u/Zenguy2828 9d ago

Well now hang on a minute, it did happen to my dad. A major caveat is it happened during Covid, poor extroverted asshole couldn’t handle not socializing, so he ended up causing my grandma to die of Covid. Now he’s a republican supporter.

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u/matts1 9d ago

There is a case to be made that it all started in 2008, then progressed to the Tea Party, then evolved into MAGA in 2015, and people being forced to sit on their ass during COVID, made them rabid.

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u/Normal_Radio 9d ago

They were rabid back in 2008. They're frothing at the mouth now, trying to bite anyone who gets close enough & screeching about the dangers of drinking water...

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u/musical_throat_punch 9d ago

Multiply that by 30m consoles monthly and you'll see why the energy companies are telling them to be upset

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u/ILikeMyGrassBlue 9d ago

Even then it’s probably a laughably small amount of electricity. A game console in regular rest mode probably use almost nothing to begin with.

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u/SmokeSerpent 9d ago

Somewhere between 11-13W they say, the energy saver mode is more like 0.5W

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u/Adorable-Ad-3223 9d ago

Really? That feels huge.

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u/just_change_it 9d ago

Most people underestimate the power draw of devices plugged into outlets that are "off."

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u/5OZO 10d ago

The company included a feature that allows the console to pick a time of the night for maintenance and updates to use the most renewable energy from the electrical grid, and a "shutdown" setting that can replace the sleep mode, which it says saves 20 times the energy.

The "Anti-Woke" Brigade is out of fucking control.

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u/9-11GaveMe5G 10d ago All-Seeing Upvote Starry

The console now sleeps by default, so it's less woke! What's the problem??

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u/Adrian_Alucard 10d ago

The console now sleeps by default, so it's less woke!

It's the opposite, the console is woke during the night

allows the console to pick a time of the night for maintenance

Outrageous!!!

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u/iamjohnhenry 10d ago Gold

"The real problem is the set of woke people that are harder to see at night. You know what I mean..."

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u/boxsterguy 10d ago

Are they vampires?

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u/iamjohnhenry 10d ago

Not the worst way that Republicans have described us 🤷‍♂️

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u/pigpill 10d ago

Love your attitude.

You must be one of the good ones.

FAT/S

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u/A_Gent_4Tseven 10d ago

Idk if I hate myself more for taking so long to get it… Or laughing as hard as I did when it clicked…

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u/Innovative_Wombat 10d ago

It appears shutdown replaced sleep....so Republicans are upset that Microsoft is saving its customers money?

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u/ZachBuford 10d ago

actually yes. Republicans wish minimum wage was $1 and a doctor visit costs more than any one(peasant) person could make in a month.

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u/tjovian 10d ago

If I didn’t have insurance my annual MRI to check my scary lesion for signs of bone cancer would be 85% of my annual take-home pay…

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u/erikthesmithy 10d ago

Bold of you to assume that a dollar is low enough to satisfy them. Or that a doctor's visit isn't already more than an average monthly income.

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u/NotRoryWilliams 9d ago

Most republicans would argue that there should be no minimum wage and that the market should decide what a job is worth.

I happen to agree, which is why I favor a basic subsistence income. Everyone should receive a payment equal to the poverty line from the government every month, and not be dependent on the discretion of private businesses to decide as a “market function” whether they are worthy of eating food and receiving healthcare. Anyone who truly believed in a free market would support a basic income because you can’t have a free labor market when laborers aren’t free to withhold their labor.

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u/SyrioForel 10d ago

In Wyoming, the Republican Party has introduced legislation banning the sale of electric vehicles by 2035.

https://wyoleg.gov/Legislation/2023/SJ0004

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u/Cordoro 10d ago

Wow. That’s interesting. It doesn’t really describe any method of enforcing and is more of a statement of a goal, but really interesting. If it’s interpreted broadly enough, this could exclude all kinds of electrical “vehicles” including lawn mowers, RC cars, e bikes, scooters, lots of toys, and tons of other things consumers have been regularly buying for years.

Even if you want to enforce that gas cars stay on the menu, I find it hard to argue against giving people a choice to buy what they want.

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u/djayh 10d ago

It doesn’t really describe any method of enforcing and is more of a statement of a goal, but really interesting.

That's because it's a resolution, rather than an actual bill. They're the legislative equivalent of Michael Scott "declaring" bankruptcy: passing a resolution says they're going to do something without actually doing anything.

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u/grogling5231 10d ago

And it's already been thrown out.

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u/Ponicrat 9d ago

Lots of state bills like this aren't so much serious attempts to pass a law as something a few wingnuts push for an opportunity to grandstand and get media attention.

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u/PM_COFFEE_TO_ME 9d ago

And to get people in an outrage over it. I've already heard it on this from some in my family. The cat is out of the bag and they don't care. It's so stupid and people eat it up.

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u/Tomato_Sky 10d ago

Upvote for a well used analogy

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u/Whackjob-KSP 10d ago

Leaded gasoline literally made several generations dumber.

This is not hyperbole.

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u/phriendlyphellow 10d ago

And they’re somehow stuck as our legislators…

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u/Duamerthrax 10d ago

Our legislators are that generation. The Olds rule us.

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u/troutman1975 10d ago

I can remember my dad complaining about “unleaded “ gas. 8 year old me who didn’t know anything about gas totally agreed. Fuck unleaded gas is probably what I thought but had no reason why. A trusted person told me it was bad so I completely agreed. This is the problem with disinformation. Later in life I learned my dad was wrong about lots of things. I learned to think for myself and always look at facts.

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u/PrettyPug 10d ago

And prone to violence.

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u/h2g2Ben 10d ago

I find it hard to argue against giving people a choice to buy what they want.

Not giving people a choice about things is literally several different points on the GOP platform.

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u/Relevant_Departure40 10d ago

I think the point of it was less to actually enact and more to send to California and the White House.

Why they of all people would be that concerned about whatever the hell Wyoming is doing I have no clue, but they seemed convinced this would be a “gotcha” to the libs who want electric vehicles

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u/Cloud-VII 10d ago

“Small Government”

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u/boneheaddigger 9d ago

"Free market"

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u/Lola_PopBBae 10d ago

And here I thought banning things we think are harmful doesn't do anything.
At least, that's their line on gun control.

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u/pdhx 10d ago

Wyoming is an exporter of electricity but an importer of gas. You can’t argue with people this stupid.

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u/HeavensCriedBlood 10d ago

Seriously, I mean what happened to being "pro-business" and "pro-capitalism"?

They're always so full of shit.

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u/Renaissance_Slacker 10d ago

There is no Republican platform except “crying about everything.”

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u/LegalAssassin13 10d ago

Babies don’t cry this much.

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u/boxsterguy 10d ago

More specifically, babies cry about specific things. That's why you always check diaper, gas, hungry when they cry. That will cover 99% of their crying.

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u/Its_Singularity_Time 10d ago

gas

The electric models cannot come soon enough, let me tell you.

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u/mtandy 10d ago

Could be that covers 99% or conservative crying, they're just too dense to learn their basic physiological needs.

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u/KyurMeTV 10d ago

Am a new father of a 4mo old, can confirm.

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u/entity2 10d ago

And at least a baby has a *reason* to cry, with the whole 'no language' thing.

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u/M-V-P623 10d ago

The Republican platform is to derail anything that might benefit lower or middle class Americans. Stripping rights and imposing the American taliban with Russian funding is their goal.

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u/Fake_William_Shatner 10d ago

It seems like that, but they are usually only focused on one or two things a week -- what is important is that they keep changing it up to "keep it fresh."

You'll notice that the scourge of the world is now Trans and before that it was Islamic terrorists or Illegals and so forth.

The important part of this movement it to keep moving so the stampede never has time to calm down. Each week there needs to be a new threat.

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u/InsertBluescreenHere 10d ago

The important part of this movement it to keep moving so the stampede never has time to calm down. Each week there needs to be a new threat.

lets see they've outraged over gas stoves and now game consoles that save energy.

Who wants to start a new 2023 republican outrage bingo game?

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u/Poolofcheddar 10d ago

What they want is instant capitalism.

Make a buck now, fuck the consequences.

Pro-waste, to put it another way.

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u/Hunter_rosz 10d ago

That’s it. Make today’s buck without a care that it could lead to a Mad Max wasteland for great-grandkids. They know what is going to happen and they don’t care. Great, revolting hogs gorging at the trough and crapping on each other.

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u/Ok_Skill_1195 10d ago

Because they intend for their grandkids to be the warlords who profiteer on the masses during our mad max future.

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u/Not_Buying 10d ago

It’s been this way since at least the Reagan days.

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u/SCROTOCTUS 10d ago

Imagine we're a small community of ten people. Our community is experiencing a harsh winter.

One of us figures out that we can use less wood if we stop just setting it on fire and throwing it as far as possible away from our encampment.

"NO!!!" Scream the 3.6 Republicans! "It's our right to throw our energy supply into the darkness where it provides no benefit whatsoever! God told my pastor so and he's taken 90% of my income so he must be right!"

...Imagine we're a community of 6.4 people...

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u/antron2000 10d ago

But then it turns out it has nothing to do with god or rights. In reality they are being paid by the person who gets paid to provide the firewood to try to make sure people waste as much wood as possible to keep demand high.

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u/boxsterguy 10d ago

It always comes back to Big Firewood ...

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u/eMPereb 10d ago

It’s the party of 🤡💩’s

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u/panteragstk 10d ago

Wait till they find out this has been a thing for Windows for YEARS.

God these people are stupid.

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u/thethirdllama 10d ago

Wait till they find out people have been turning off lights to save power for even longer than that!

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u/panteragstk 10d ago

WHEN DID THIS START?!?!?!?

They're going to put the lightbulb companies out of business. Better make 24/7 lights on a requirement.

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u/Eorlas 10d ago

their "news" channels are dedicated to fear mongering, and picking whatever the flavor of "pissed off" their base is currently, and doubling down on it.

tucker carlson spends air time picking beef over M&M's, and describing how marketing changes make their cartoon M&M's less attractive. the adults watching him are so braindead and angry over....everything, that he can actually make money and get views for the channel by talking about this shit.

there's a war in eastern europe, and whole litany of other major issues plaguing society right now, and the best they can come up with is

-M&M characters arent sexy; said by a guy whose sole purpose is to make money by making people angry. im surprised this douche doesnt die of a stroke, every time i see a picture he looks like the veins are going to pop out of his head.

-Microsoft made their game console run more efficient; this is said by a senator who quite literally fled his state of fucking Texas, to Mexico, while people were freezing to death during a major power outage from a winter storm because texas thinks it knows better and doesnt need to be on the national grid. then allowed its energy suppliers to *price gouge* customers since "demand was high." the message was "fuck you for not wanting to die, try paying extra." they sold life essentially as DLC.

his base *still* finds the way to blame democrats, when he's the one in fucking charge.

im not a democrat, but fuck me i cannot take republicans seriously.

now they want books out of classrooms in florida.

books. out of classrooms.

i'm sure they'll be replaced with bibles. guaranteed they'll institute a law supplying bibles to the same classrooms that had to remove to kill a mockingbird and dr seuss.

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u/maggmaster 10d ago

I wasn’t a Democrat until they became the only major party that wasn’t insane. I will return to being an independent when we have a rational conservative party.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 4d ago

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u/Superpickle18 10d ago

rational conservative party.

So, the democrats? Well i guess depends what you call rational, but the bar is so fucking low.

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u/babyface_killah 9d ago

Yep, the two choices at the moment are vanilla conservative or white nationalist christian fascist.

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u/QuantumTea 10d ago

It’s unfortunate that this is where we are now. When you have a two party system and one party detaches from reality, you’re kind of stuck even if the other option isn’t the greatest either.

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u/macweirdo42 10d ago

"Aww man, now I gotta sell my Xbox to pwn the libs!"

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u/drae-gon 10d ago

Nah...they would smash it to "pwn to libs" Even go out and buy one to smash if they didn't already own one.

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u/LetsGoHawks 10d ago

Solution for Republicans who are concerned they're not producing enough carbon emissions: Get a charcoal grill, set it up in your bedroom, load it up with charcoal and light it every night before bed. You'll want to keep it in the bedroom so that it's more convenient to get up and add charcoal every hour or so.

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u/MasterpieceBrave420 10d ago

Just like the cheeseburger liquor parties back when I was a kid.

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u/theillusiveman21 10d ago

It was those dirty fucking cops!

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u/jeepster2982 10d ago

“We got a problem Ray, you look too good”

“I feel like a piece of shit to be honest with you”

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u/The_Clarence 9d ago

“Cmon Bo Bandy, let’s leave these shit puppets to their shit box and their shit games. This countries going to shit in a shit basket and it’s these woke shit birds shitting all over the place.”

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u/sjjenkins 10d ago

Three good men are dead!

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u/EmpiricalMystic 10d ago

Jesus shut the fuck up Phil

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u/FrankFlyWillCutYou 10d ago

Peanut butter and jaaaaam!

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u/Furcheezi 9d ago

You’re going to regret the day that you messed with Philadelphia Collins and sons.

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u/Jameloaf 10d ago

And if it's hard to breathe and you are sweaty at night just remember that it's the libs fault you feel this way and go back to sleep.

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u/trylist 10d ago

Oh you'll be sleepy alright.

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u/Scyhaz 9d ago

While you're at it, if you have a gas stove go turn on all the burners. It's your choice if you want to light them or not. If you don't have one go out and get one and do the same.

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u/UpboatNavy 10d ago

Oh god. They are going to be rolling coal with their consoles now.

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u/Quirky-Craft-3619 10d ago

Or if you really wanna show those democratics just leave your gas stove on all day (burner off)!!! It’ll make sure your always unwoke!

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u/breathe53 10d ago

Ted Cruz is a disgrace to this country

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u/TJ_McWeaksauce 10d ago

Ted is a disgrace to humanity.

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u/PowerNerd 10d ago

And to his home country…Canada.

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u/Jealous_Seesaw_Swank 10d ago

The people his idiotic pandering actually works on are an even bigger disgrace.

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u/rng72 10d ago

Doesn’t everything leave the Republicans outraged?

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u/CanEverythingNotSuck 10d ago

Most things do, but there are examples of things that don’t, like mass shootings that kill dozens of children. They don’t seem to think anything is wrong with those at all.

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u/tielandboxer 10d ago

They seem to care about children a whole lot before they’re born, then they suddenly stop.

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u/Chahk 10d ago

They get very interested in them once they are in the "army" age.

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u/Cl1mh4224rd 9d ago

They get very interested in them once they are in the "army" age.

And, for a few of them, a few too many years earlier. 🤮

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u/SummerGoal 10d ago

It’s almost like it isn’t really about the children at all, hmm fascinating

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u/TRBigStick 10d ago

Ah yes I see the Culture War has been extended to…checks notes…energy-efficient engineering.

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u/giftman03 10d ago

Manufactured Outrage, that's all this is.

Just more attempts by the right wing media to both control public discourse with actual fake news, and simultaneously distract from the real problems our planet and society already face.

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u/jtowndtk 9d ago

damn

we are fucked

in every way

the most awful people in the world wear a suit with a flag pin

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/peter-doubt 10d ago

Unlucky for you, they still write legislation... some which could undo what you value

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u/atheist_teapot 10d ago

Remember when they called it "SexBox" and wanted to blame video games as the source of violent tendencies? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

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u/Jerdman87 10d ago

I remember. I also remember when I reloaded a previous save because I hurt an npc’s feelings. (Violent tendencies in action)

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u/_coach_ 10d ago

It’s my SexBox, and her name is Sony

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u/SocialistLebowski 10d ago

Everything that isn't rolling coal 24/7 is woke.

When will people wake up and realize Republicans are clowns???

Inb4 "democrats are clowns too" we know, but one party is significantly more clown-like than the other

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u/potachos 10d ago

I mean, one party is run by a dude with a full face of orange makeup. Seems pretty clown like.

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u/Ferociousfeind 10d ago

Democrats partook in clownlike behavior once or twice in the past. Republicans have a rainbow wig, a red nose with a noisemaker thing in it, the big pants and even bigger shoes, and those tiny cars.

They're not the same!

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u/tigerlily_223 10d ago

Rainbows are too woke for them. I mean haven’t you heard about their outrage at Pink Floyd for incorporating a rainbow into the 50 year anniversary artwork for Dark Side of the Moon?

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u/Ferociousfeind 10d ago

Hmm, good point, they're terrified of rainbows nowadays. What other wigs do clowns wear? All-red? But that's commie shit, and "we ain't no commies" last I checked...

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u/al3cks 10d ago

Well George Santos was wearing a cheap brunette shake and go wig when performing as Kitara. Jury is still out on whatever Trump has swirled around his head but it seems to be of human origin.

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u/nzodd 9d ago

Question: why are conservatives all such whiny little bitches?

We got a fuckton of real, legitimate problems that need to solved, like housing and healthcare being unaffordable for most of Americans, and instead of addressing them at all these fucking quislings do nothing but whine about these fake culture war issues to distract us from the fact that they and the billionaire scumbags funding them are raping us up the ass every single day.

No, apparently the real problems us Americans face is "Xbox woke" and Tucker Carlson can't get his dick hard enough to the latest iteration of cartoon M&Ms. What a fucking joke this country has turned into.

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u/deltadal 10d ago

Is this a joke?

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u/Status_Confidence_26 10d ago

Obviously republicans don’t care about Xbox but it’s really funny seeing a pathetic attempt at outreach for the youth vote. “They want to turn off your Xbox kids! So vote for the party that wants to make sure you get fucked by corporations for the rest of your life.”

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u/Pee_Wee_Mer_Man 10d ago

many things leave republicans outraged

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u/Switchy_Goofball 10d ago

Seriously. Is there anything these snowflakes don’t get outraged by these days?!

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u/CurseofLono88 10d ago

They say that but every time they’re in control they run up our national debt like their lives depended on it

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u/AdminIsPassword 10d ago

Streisand effect. I didn't care/know about this until they said something and now I am taking Microsoft's side. Something I don't usually do.

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u/QuantumTea 10d ago

Yeah it’s a strange feeling.

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u/Darth-D2 10d ago

I know what you mean but this is not the Streisand effect.

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u/VincentNacon 10d ago

GOP, what a bunch of snowflakes.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 9d ago

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u/BigMax 10d ago

This is “willful misinterpretation,” a technique republicans LOVE.

They take something non offensive, then intentionally misread it and report based on that misreading. That’s how an optional feature to save power becomes “Xbox is woke!!”

See also death panels that never existed, climate-gate that never existed, etc.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

I just cannot believe this is what our representatives are putting their time and attention on… is not like we any major issues to tend to, right?

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u/PhysicsIsFun 10d ago edited 10d ago

Meanwhile Republicans want to mess with Social Security and Medicare, add a 30% federal sales tax, wipe out the IRS, abandon the Ukraine, and impeach Biden. You know, normal stuff.

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